We would go… to Harry’s birthday party

No shade to our dear Neville but if we want to go to a party then we want to go to a party. And Harry’s? Well, that would be the party of the century… no… it would be the party of the millennium.

Firstly, we think we can all agree that a birthday party for the Chosen One would be nothing short of spectacular. If anyone deserves to be celebrated it’s the boy-who-saved-the-entire-wizarding-world-from-Voldemort. Those who were organising it would pull out all the stops. Butterbeer for everyone! The Weird Sisters playing all their very best tunes (or possibly Celestina Warbeck if Molly Weasley was involved in the planning)! A cheeky game of Quidditch to get involved in! The possibilities for this party are endless.

Then there’s the guest list. You can bet that nearly every Gryffindor would be attending and if this house knows how to do anything, it’s being the life and soul of the party – their exuberant post-Quidditch match celebrations show us that.

In fact, a birthday for Harry Potter would be a veritable who’s who of the wizarding world. We can guarantee that all your favourites would be there. It would be so fun to discuss the Chudley Cannon’s current season with Ron. Brilliant to be able to pick Hermione’s brain about, well, anything. Or ask Mr Weasley if he had finally figured out the function of a rubber duck.

Oh, and we must talk about the catering. Harry had some very useful connections there – Mrs Weasley for starters. She could whip up a feast at a drop of a hat. Remember the Snitch birthday cake she made Harry? Or any other meal she made throughout the entire series? Delicious. And speaking of cake, Hagrid would definitely be at any birthday of Harry’s and while his rock cakes might be a little… tough, we wouldn’t say no to another version of that iconic cake he made for Harry’s eleventh birthday.

Now we don’t want to say that Neville’s party would be boring exactly… but we imagine his soiree would be a lot quieter. There wouldn’t be that spark of energy that you would find at Harry’s birthday. Plus, unless you are a major Herbology fan, we reckon we could get tired of spending our evening discussing the finer points of a Mimbulus mimbletonia – sorry Neville, we still love you.

Ultimately, if you’re looking for a party with good food, good people, good conversation and an all-round good time, then Harry’s birthday is the place to be. Yes, it might be a little over-the-top, but it would probably be the best party you’ve ever been to… even the most introverted of us couldn’t help but have a magical time.

We would go... to Neville’s birthday party

Sure. Picking Harry’s birthday party is the easy choice. We get it. You think just because he was the Chosen One, he’s more popular, more fun, more likely to have a rambunctious time? Forget all of that. Neville’s birthday party would be far superior. We can just picture it now...

Firstly, Neville’s undying love of Herbology would surely be a top theme for this function. Maybe there would be plant-themed snacks and drinks (Dirigible Plum Pudding, anyone?) at the buffet table. And we would surely be raising a Mimbulus mimble-toast to the big man himself.

Speaking of Herbology – you just know that Professor Sprout would be a VIP guest for Neville here. Harry and Neville’s Gryffindor clan would probably be torn on which party to attend (and let’s face it, a lot of them are going to pick Harry) but we know Sprout would have Nev’s back, no matter what. The idea of having a cheeky chuckle with Pomona over a hilarious Mandrake anecdote is giving us hypothetical FOMO just thinking about it. She’d probably even let Neville rent out the greenhouses (the perfect setting!) for the big event.

And if Sprout’s coming, you can bet your bottom Sickle that Augusta Longbottom is coming too. We only met Neville’s no-nonsense grandmother a couple of times in the books, but we wanted to see so much more. Yes, she was stern, yes it sounded like Neville was low-key scared of her... but just imagine her after a couple of Gigglewaters! We bet she would be the absolute life and soul. We can just sense it. The stuffed vulture hat would be askew, that’s for sure. And that is a moment we simply need to bear witness to.

And don’t under-estimate the guest of honour on the dancefloor either. We all saw Neville in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire waltzing up a storm in the dormitory after the Yule Ball – and it was beautiful to see this side to him. We don’t recall Harry being quite as up for a boogie... Just saying.

What about Neville-themed party games? Pass the Remembrall could be a new trend (everyone in the room has to try and remember what someone else has forgotten) or how about a Great Lake swimming race after munching some Gillyweed? “Find Trevor” would be an instant classic – Neville's toad would inevitably go missing, after all. The winner gets one of Neville’s cosy cardigans.

All of this to say, that going to Neville’s party may not sound as appealing as going to a glitzy celebrity event like Harry’s, but if anyone deserves to cut loose, it’s this wholesome king! And we want to be there right alongside him, helping Neville de-stress from years of forgotten passwords, surly Snape remarks and lost toads. He deserves it.

Happy birthday to both of our beloved Gryffindor boys!